Track 4: Mott the Hoople "I Wish I Was Your Mother"
I scream at you for sharing
'n I curse you just for caring
I hate the clothes you're wearing, they're so pretty
'n I tell to not to see me
'n I tell you not to feel me
'n I make your life a drag, it's such a pity
'n I watch your warm glow palin'
'n I watch your sparkle fadin'
As you realise you're failin', cos you're so good
Now I don't mean to upset you
But there's so much crime to get through
If only I could make it easier, then I would
Oh I wish I was your mother
I wish I'd been your father
'n then I would have seen you
Would have been you as a child
Played houses with your sisters
And wrestled with all your brothers
And then who knows
I might have felt a family for a while
It's no use me pretendin'
You give and I do the spendin'
Is there a happy ending, I don't think so
Cos even if we make it
I'll be too far out to take it
You'll have to try and shake it from my head
Oooooh I wish I was your mother
I wish I'd been your father
'n then I would have seen you
Would have been you as a child
Played houses with your sisters
And wrestled with all your brothers
And then who knows
I might have felt a family for a while
I often daydream of Bill as a boy, I relish in the stories of his childhood. I fell in love with a little boy with nervous tics and odd obsessions. When he told me of how when he was little and wanted to grow up to be a secretary I knew that little boy was the core of the man I wanted to spend my life with, be a family with. He would hide any pencils, paperclips, staples, odds and ends under his bed that he thought would someday be needed for his occupation. I love this little boy I never knew. And even now, the pictures of a small child with the same eyes I have around the house are too much to look at.
I'm floating in the middle of an ocean at night with no lights to direct me towards something and no land to look for. I tread water and all I need is anything to focus on to get me to a place, anyplace. A life raft is floating near, but the waves are puling us apart. Every time I get close another wave crashes over me with such force I feel planets apart, reeling.
All I need is that raft.
All I need is my family.
All I need is my Bill.
But instead, I float in an ocean of pictures, clothes, memories, records, curios, and stories. There is no life raft. I'm simply treading while the boy with familiar eyes watches.
At least we felt a family for a while.
I know that the waves are high; that they crash down with almost unbearable force. I know that when they come it can be seemingly impossible to catch your breath. However, I am not so sure about the life raft. I think, if you look over your shoulder, you may see that boy with the familiar eyes clinging to you. Perhaps those eyes even showing a impish glint as he holds tight to you -- his life raft. For it is you who bouyed him up in his life, gave him the family his heaart always desired, and made those eyes smile. You were his life raft, and, when the waves grow strong, we will be yours. We love you.
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